Blinded by the Mondegreen light

People who know me and have read “Someone She Always Has Known” look at me askew these days and ask, “So, who are you? Callie, Eleanor, or Jodie?”

“They’re fictional characters,” I explain. “Didn’t you read the disclaimer at the front of the book?”

When their askew looks morph into stares, I add, “Okay, there’s a little bit of me in every character.”

For instance, take Jodie and misheard lyrics. Her admission to Leo that she thought the Black Crowes sang about a “word of diction” instead of “the word addiction” in “She Talks to Angels” came directly from my confused mind.

And Jodie thinking Elton John crooned “I like girls” and not “Island Girl?”

Yeah, that’s me, too.

There are so many more. I could have sworn Billy Joel said Virginia was “counting on her ovaries” in “Only the Good Die Young.”

Ovaries/rosaries. Either one fits.

While listening to “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay,” I asked a friend, “Did he just say he’s resting his balls?”

“No, I think he said bones,” she answered.

When Heart’s “Dog and Butterfly” came on during a family road trip, I noted, “That song’s kind of creepy. You know, with the dog eating the butterfly.”

“That’s dog and butterfly,” my brother-in-law corrected me.

Only recently did I learn, thanks to a disc jockey, that the lyrics to the Bruce Springsteen-penned “Blinded by the Light” were “revved up like a deuce” and not “wrapped up like a douche.”

But my favorite involves Jon Bon Jovi’s “Blaze of Glory.” In the song, the theme to “Young Guns II,” Bon Jovi took on the weary persona of Billy the Kid, who had “an old coat for a pillow.”

Of course, I heard “an old goat for a pillow.”

Coat/goat. Either one fits.

“Someone She Always Has Known” is available here

and here

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